Battle Scars
by Belldere
Summary: When Sirius tries to teach Remus to be proud of his battle scars he somehow ends up finding a new home. It turns out pissing James off was the easiest way Sirius' parents could have gotten rid of their son. Rated for mentions of physical abuse
1. Chapter 1

Remus would usually try to be positive about being a werewolf but he would occasionally become reclusive and angry, especially nearer to a full moon.

One month he's had enough. He was so frustrated and angry at everything to the point where he refused to speak to the rest of the Marauders. He didn't feel like he deserved to be their friend, he didn't feel like he deserved to be anything.

He closeted himself in their dormitory and wouldn't leave or speak to anyone no matter how hard they tried until Sirius, who usually just let people get over their problems on their own, finally got fed up with him.

He slammed his way into their dormitory, walked right up to the edge of Remus' bed and stood, arms crossed, glaring down at him

When Remus still refused to acknowledge him Sirius punched him hard in the shoulder.

Remus toppled off the bed and gaped up at him, shocked at the hostile expression on his face.

He scrambled to his feet, rubbing his arm indignantly.

They glared at each other across the bed until Remus, very unwisely, said "What?"

This only seemed to infuriate Sirius more.

"What? WHAT?! What the bloody hell is your problem you git? Moping around for days, not talking to us." He scowled. "You're being a complete pain in the ass! So how about you stop being such a miserable dick and tell me what the hell is wrong before I beat you down."

Remus held his glare for one long minute before sighing and looking down ashamedly, "I can't be friends with you anymore."

"And why would that be?" Sirius asked, mock-politely.

Remus tried to keep calm; he hated it when Sirius used that condescending tone.

"Because I'm a monster, I'm not fit to be around human beings, I'm surprised you, James and Peter haven't been torn to shreds yet! I'm so ashamed" he gripped his hair, and then dragged his fingers roughly through the knots that had accumulated over the past few days, in frustration.

"You think that being a werewolf is something to be ashamed of?" Sirius said in a quiet, deadly voice that filled Remus with an unusual sense of foreboding that didn't quite fit with the easy-going image Sirius tried to uphold.

His eyebrows furrowed as Sirius, without another word, pushed up his sleeves aggressively and held out his bare arms, Remus gasped.

There were deep, angry, red welts travelling the length of his arms, the occasional burn punctuated these scars that interspersed randomly across his forearms.

"Gifts from my mother and father for being insolent."

"I don't-"

"You see" He interrupted loudly "they only ever make scars by dark magic on skin that can be covered or everyone would know their son wasn't right and they'd look weak" Sirius spat. "You think something you can't control is something to be ashamed of? Does that mean I should be ashamed of my scars like you are of yours?" Remus sputtered incoherently unable to express his horror."Because I'm not. I'm proud of these scars, every one of them represents a time that was scary and violent but they also represent a time I survived against the odds... and it's the same for you. You're not a monster Moony, you're a survivor. Something bad happened to you but you always come back from it and come back to us, just like me. We all have our demons and have to fight our own battles but it's what makes us who we are. You're a good person Remus; don't let this one bad thing about your life ruin the rest of it."

Sirius turned to leave but right before he reached the door Remus called out softly "I'm sorry Sirius" Sirius turned to look at Remus, still standing by his bed "about how I've been acting and about everything that's happened to you. I knew it was bad at your house but I never would have guessed... I've been so wrapped up in my lycanthropy I didn't see my friends had their own problems."

"You really should work on that" Sirius said, attempting a joke which Remus smiled weakly at.

"Thanks Padfoot."

"What are friends for if not to share emotionally scarring stories about their lives? By the way if you tell James or Peter I will have to tie you by your ankles to the Whomping Willow" Sirius grinned.

"You really should tell them" Remus said frowning.

Sirius sighed "I will eventually. Just give me some time. I know James will lose it when he finds out so I'm building up to it. So only you can know for now, can you keep this secret for me?"

Remus smiled ruefully "Always."


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius nervously paced the corridor in front of the Fat Lady as Remus warily watched. Honestly, Sirius was brave in nearly everything he did; he mouthed off to potential Death Eaters, cut a clump of hair off of Mrs Norris' tail and even, on a dare, drank most of a can of muggle bug spray before being rushed to the hospital wing.

Perhaps stupid was a better word.

Either way, Sirius was brave in most everything… except things that involved James, or in this case, telling James things he needed to know a long time ago.

"I can't tell him" Sirius said for the hundredth time, looking more uncertain with each reiteration.

"Yes you can" Remus soothed, trying to remain patient.

Sirius weaved his fingers into his beloved hair dramatically as he looked plaintively over at his friend, "He won't- I don't- I just can't Remus" he sighed, slumping against the bannister facing the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Come on, James loves you, he'll want to know" Remus said softly.

"Go on" the Fat Lady burst out; unable to contain herself any longer, "it's plain as day that you boys belong together." She added dreamily.

Sirius looked at her wide-eyed. "What?"

She smiled at him in one of the most comforting, but definitely the weirdest show of support either of the boys could think of.

Remus sniggered before breaking out into a hearty laugh.

"Oh come on!" Sirius exclaimed, when he had cottoned on to her meaning, "why does everyone think we're together? You know what?" he interrupted her, as her mouth opened to explain her opinion on the matter, "never mind."

Remus smirked at Sirius, who had gone back to rubbing his arms self-consciously and looking around fearfully for James, and his smile fell. It hadn't been long since Sirius had revealed the scars he had littered across his body courtesy of his evil parents for his 'misbehaviour' to Remus.

But it had been long enough that he should have told James.

Years too long really.

Sirius groaned "What am I even supposed to say Remy? 'Hey James! I've been horribly tortured by my parents and extended family for my entire life, check out my scars-'" he said in a falsely cheery voice as he pushed up his sleeves "'nifty huh? Oh but don't mind me! Compared to Regulus I'm practically spotless, he looks like a divine patchwork quilt! Ain't that grand?'" Remus rolled his eyes at the sarcasm as Sirius' sleeves dropped again.

"You have to tell him though," Remus said seriously. "Peter and I know and he'll think you don't trust him if you haven't been the one to tell him and he finds out through some stupid way instead."

Sirius's palms kneaded his eyes, "It's not as easy as that Moony, I don't want him to get upset over something he can't-" Sirius cut off abruptly as he turned back to the portrait hole which had swung open noiselessly during their conversation to reveal James, whose jaw had dropped.

"So…" Sirius said with a false grin that was very hard to tell from his regular one, "how much of that did you hear exactly…?"

Sirius didn't even bother to finish his sentence the look on James' face was so stern.

"Ah," Sirius said sheepishly, fiddling with his sleeves, "so the whole thing. Right."

Without another word James grabbed Sirius' hand and hauled him through the portrait hole before dragging him upstairs to their dormitory. Of course it wouldn't be the Gryffindor common room if they weren't followed by a few wolf whistles and catcalls.

Remus, on the other hand, decided not to follow them, thinking that the two would need some privacy to work it all out.

James slammed open the door, startling poor Peter as he read despondently from a romance novel Lily's dorm mate, Mary, had disgustedly thrown away after her mother had sent it to her to try and force her daughter to be more 'feminine'.

Peter squeaked and threw the book across the room in fright as the pair crashed through the door.

"We need the room Wormy" James said gravely, shoving Sirius onto his bed while and starting to pace like a caged lion.

Peter completely missed the tone and said "aren't single mattresses a little small for two?"

"Out!" James snapped, to which Peter rolled off of his bed, slack jawed, and made a beeline for the door.

Turning on Sirius, James growled, "speak," before sitting down across from Sirius for maximum glare effect.

Sirius sighed and began to unbutton his shirt.

James' eyes snapped wide "woah, wait, what are you doing?" he asked, blushing. This really wasn't where he had been intending to go with this.

But Sirius just ignored him and let his shirt fall to the floor, revealing a multitude of scars mapped out across his skin.

James darted forward, missing the pained and awkward look on his friend's face as he examined the scars more intimately than Sirius had ever allowed them to be seen.

Finally, after what seemed like an age, James straightened up, his face set, and said "You're not going back there." Sirius almost shuddered. He knew that voice, James was a rather carefree and jovial person but when he used that voice; either shit was going to go down or someone was in trouble.

"Well where would I go?" Sirius said despondently, avoiding James' eyes "I don't exactly have an abundance of good guys in my family, and the ones who are think they can't trust me. Can't say I really blame them. If any kid of Narcissa's or Bella's ran up to me for anything I'd probably dump holy water on them."

Sirius looked cautiously up at James, hoping he'd at least crack a smile; unfortunately he still looked so grave he would blend in rather effectively at a cemetery.

James sighed irritably as Sirius looked up at him once more. "Don't be an idiot." He scoffed "You're coming home with me."

"Mr Potter!" Sirius gasped in his best southern bell accent, "I thought you were a gentleman! At least buy me dinner first," James knew better then to laugh, Sirius always tried to cover up with humour whenever he felt exposed. It wasn't easy for him to have serious attention focused on him.

James resisted rolling his eyes, "I'm being serious."

"No I'm Sirius," Sirius tried again half-heartedly.

"Sirius, I'm willing to put up with how stupid you are for most of the year so I might as well make it the whole year. You know I'm not going to stop until you say yes, I should have asked ages ago really, and my parents love you more than me" James said loftily.

Sirius allowed himself to look hopeful for a minute then said, "well if it's for Dorea and Charlus I suppose I could put up with you only…" Sirius hesitated, "just please be sure, I can't have this not work out, you're my best friend. I don't want to lose you because I'm an idiot; I want to lose you because I found someone better looking."

Sighing James said, "ok, looking past all the insulting, I'm guessing that's a yes? Good." He said without waiting for an answer, "I hope you have everything important here because you're not even going back to pack."

Sirius stared at James hard for a moment before deciding that James really meant what he said, he never had to go to that hell, he'd suffered in for sixteen years, again. So, without thought, Sirius threw himself at James, wrapping his arms around his friend tightly, unable to believe his luck.

He felt a small pang of guilt for leaving Regulus alone but he knew that his brother had already chosen his path and there would never be anything that Sirius could say to stop him. Stubborn-ass Black's the lot of them.

It was at that point when Remus strolled it, Peter in tow, "oh good, you two have sorted it out. So I'm guessing Sirius is going to live with you James?" Remus asked nonchalantly, picking up Peter's book absentmindedly while Peter slipped onto his own bed and rifled around for chocolate.

James and Sirius both looked confusedly over to Remus and spluttered; "but-" "how did you-?"

Remus snorted "I'm not an idiot" he simply said "well, now we've figured that out we can get down to more important matters."

"Like what?" James asked around a mouth full of honeydukes chocolate he had snatched from Peter, with an apologetic look for snapping at him earlier, knowing better then to try and steal Remus'.

"Like why Peter is reading a Mills and Boon novel for one thing." Remus said, to mostly blank stares.

Two days and a bit of speed reading later Sirius and James had figured out exactly what Mills and Boon was and teased Peter mercilessly by acting out many of the scenes in his presence.

Sirius was just grateful for the distraction from himself.

Living situations were never brought up again besides the wordless tug on Sirius' sleeve at King's Cross station at the end of the school year as James led him over to his parents so they could go home.


End file.
